I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
