Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
