let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This baby is an asshole
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
