By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
