He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
