If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
