oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize