no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
