her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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