how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i think i just lost a toe
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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