those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
