so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i've created a new STD.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
