Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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