okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I need water and some morals
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
