haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
