I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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