He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So vagazzling was a success
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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