just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
