your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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