I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We're too hungover to prance.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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