Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
