On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
