Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
