we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
