when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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