i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
