I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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