He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
