Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
