All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
