Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
