just tell him i said nine months
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
