I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You are a genius and a whore.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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