this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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