Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
