Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
