tell your sister to shave her snatch
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Be still, my beating vagina.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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