Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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