Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
