You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
