new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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