dude i'm inner monologue high
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
