so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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