So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
false alarm. still invincible.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
