But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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