i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
