bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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