yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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