He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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