thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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