just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
thus making me awesome and them whores
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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