Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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