Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
